It was a warm spring day in the adolescence of my womanhood. I was in a particularly feisty mood. My lover and I had just arrived at Whole Foods, where we were going to gather a picnic lunch. The store was teeming with bodies and energy and motion. Suddenly inspired, I leaned in close to his ear and whispered sharply, “Pinch my nipple.” He was a bit more conservative than I, and I was not sure that he would oblige my sudden whim (which made it all the more thrilling to challenge him).
I was sobered as he became suddenly still and his brown eyes locked with mine, entering me with loving force. I felt him draw in a breath so deep, he breathed me too. All of my frenetic jubilance stilled in the potency of his single pointed attention on me. This happened in a flashing moment, but it was saturated with the depth of eternity.
Holding my gaze, he slowly extended his hand, took hold of my right nipple and squeezed it… gently at first, and then increasingly hard, until it radiated intense sensation that flooded my entire body.
I will never forget his eyes. They were so still and fierce, burning me with intent. Then he released my nipple, but continued to hold me with his eyes for a few more succulent drops of forever.
By now my entire body was screaming with potent desire. When I first made this frivolous demand of him, I did *not* expect him to deliver with such artful mastery. I imagined at best, he’d shyly grab my nipple and give it a tweak, before anyone noticed, and we’d be on with our picnic.
Instead he had penetrated me to my core and left me trembling, ignited and melted open.
This brief yet potent erotic encounter was an early initiation on my journey into the boundless realms of “Conscious Sex”. And I truly mean “boundless”, because there really is no endpoint to this incredible exploration of self and other, and that, which pervades and transcends.
In this modern, incredibly convenient and instantly gratifying world we live in, sex is way too often reduced to a cheap, hollow imitation of its profoundly powerful, sacred and replenishing self.
I can’t even count the times in my life when I’ve been making out with a man, and within a few engorged, tingling minutes, his hasty hand has wandered under my skirt and three quarters of the way to the holy land beyond my panties (only to get slapped by this frustrated goddess!).
Men if you walk away with a single gem from reading this here it is…slowwwwww down, feeeeel your body and feel your partner’s body, set her ablaze with anticipation and electrified longing… and like my nipple pinching picnic partner of yesteryore, own her with a single breath, a penetrating gaze, an intention-drenched touch.
One of the main excuses I hear people sling for not exploring the infinitely gratifying realms of conscious sex, is “there’s not enough time”… as though being deliciously awake, present and engaged with all of our senses is an endeavor that requires days, years, incarnations!
There IS a drop of truth to that… because when both partners are choosing to connect and share with this depth of presence and openness, a single moment really does reverberate with eternity. Unlike the cheap, imitation stuff, a little goes a looooong way.
A pure, naked gaze, a heart-drenched caress, or a soft, melty kiss can undo me for days.
Let’s take a deeper look at the Whole Foods nipple incident. My date did not just knee-jerk grab at my body parts. He first took a very deep breath, which caused my breath to deepen as well. The simple act of a slow, belly breath serves to bring one out of the etheric, lonesome realms of the head, and into the body, where life is always happening NOW.
Go ahead, let yourself tap into the whispering nuances of her embodied presence… its like taking a sip of velvety red wine, and letting it unfold it’s sensuous, intricate existence in your curious, attentive mouth.
Whether with wine, sex, or any seemingly “mundane” moment of life, there is always an opportunity for deep, gratifying intimacy. Choosing to slow and deepen your breath, feel your body, relax your heart and really RELISH the subtleties arising before you is the difference between an ordinary life and an extraordinary life.
Anybody can jam a round peg in a wet hole. Seriously. Being a better lover does not necessarily have anything to do with the gross act of physical penetration… Although when you are deeply connected with your partner, and awake to all of the miraculous nuances of sensation and connection, naturally, this type of penetration has the potential to be off the charts!
Just make her ache and shatter and beg with her whole being before you give it to her. Trust me, it’s way more fun and potent this way.
Aren’t you ready to move beyond the days where the sexual occasion looks like a rushed, climax chasing hump, and then a roll over snooze-a-thon? Let’s graduate into the infinite realms of embodied ecstasy. It’s time to collectively reclaim the heart and soul of sex.
Triambika Ma Vive
Have you embarked on the journey of conscious sex?
What treasures have you unearthed?
Where do you get stuck, or sell out?
What do you love?
What do you want more of?
What do you need help with?
Dare to bare your soul, and share in the comments!